


In a blissful sigh as you fall asleep

by Persiflage



Series: The Ways You Said 'I Love You' [11]
Category: Holby City
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bernie and Jason Friendship, Episode Tag, Episode: s19e07 The Kill List, F/F, Kissing, Light Angst, Massage, Newly established relationship, Post-The Kill List, Prompt Fic, Sharing a Bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-29
Updated: 2020-07-29
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:33:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25585222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Persiflage/pseuds/Persiflage
Summary: Episode Tag for The Kill List: Jason extends his matchmaking further than merely locking Bernie and Serena in their office to force them to talk.
Relationships: Jason Haynes & Bernie Wolfe, Serena Campbell/Bernie Wolfe
Series: The Ways You Said 'I Love You' [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1750207
Comments: 8
Kudos: 67





	In a blissful sigh as you fall asleep

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sevtacular](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sevtacular/gifts).



> From the list of prompts _The Ways You Said 'I Love You'._
> 
> I swear not all these prompt fics are going to be centred on _The Kill List_! But, this one is - again. I've no idea what bee has got into my Bitch Muse's bonnet but here were are... At least this one's as focused on Bernie's friendship with Jason as it is on her romantic relationship with Serena.

After their kiss in the office Bernie can’t help wondering what comes next and if Serena’s actually forgiven her for running off to Kiev as she did. They go back out onto the ward together, but Serena’s immediately pulled away by Morven needing a second opinion, so Bernie moves over to the nurses’ station. She leans on it with her elbows, looking down at a tablet, and Fletch moves to stand beside her. 

“Everything sorted out now, then?” he asks in a low voice.

Bernie swallows. “I think it would be too optimistic to say everything,” she tells him. “But some things, yes.”

“Good.” Fletch gives her a smile, not one of his beaming ones, but a smile all the same. “A word of warning, though. You nearly broke Serena, and you certainly broke up the family dynamic of AAU, so don’t ever do that again.”

Bernie raises both eyebrows at him, giving him the kind of hard stare that Major Wolfe used to give to insubordinate privates, and she sees him swallow.

“I’m just sayin’,” he says, “you’re a part of the AAU family now, so please don’t go running off like that again.”

She can’t help admiring his courage in standing up to her hard stare and his loyalty to Serena. “I’ll take your comments under advisement, Mr Fletcher,” she says in a very formal tone that makes him wince slightly.

“Okay. I’ve got work to do.” He moves away and Bernie stares blindly down at the tablet. She hadn’t realised that the staff on AAU had taken her into their fold quite so thoroughly.

She’s lost in her thoughts when a hand slides across her shoulders and a familiar scent tickles her nose.

“Alright?” Serena asks quietly, rubbing her hand slowly back and forth. “You seem a bit tense.”

“Just had a somewhat awkward, somewhat threatening conversation with Fletch,” Bernie tells her.

“Oh?”

“He told me off for breaking up the AAU family dynamic.” Bernie glances sideways at Serena, then adds in an even lower voice, “And he said I nearly broke you.”

Serena’s hand stills, then drops away and Bernie immediately misses its warmth and the touch. There’s a soft sigh beside her, then Serena says, “I won’t deny it. For a time there I felt wretched and emotionally wrecked. I’m not going to pretend you didn’t hurt me, Bernie, because you did. But I’m prepared to move past it.”

“What happened to your mentality of ‘take it to the grave grudges’?” Bernie asks.

Serena snorts. “Yes, that somehow doesn’t apply where you’re concerned. But don’t take advantage.”

“I won’t,” Bernie says softly, gazing at the brunette intently. “I promise you that I won’t.”

Serena nods. “Jason wants to know if you’re coming to dinner.”

“I’d like to, if that’s what you want as well?”

“It is. I was going to suggest Albie’s first, but I think I’d rather go straight home once our shift finishes. Do you need to go home first?”

Bernie shakes her head. “No.”

“Okay.”

Any further conversation is cut off by the doors onto the ward banging open as a gurney is wheeled in and the paramedic accompanying it reels off the details of the patient’s injuries, and Bernie accompanies them into the trauma bay with just a brief backward glance at Serena before her focus is directed at the patient.

SC-BW-SC-BW-SC

When Bernie plods out of theatre an hour past the end of her shift, her tread heavy and her body aching, she’s expecting to find Serena’s left already – after all, she knows how important Jason’s schedule is. She’s surprised to find both aunt and nephew waiting for her in the consultants’ office, the pair of them looking very calm.

“I thought you’d both be home eating shepherd’s pie by now,” she observes, raking a hand through her hair after removing the tie holding her ponytail in place. 

“Aunty Serena asked if I minded waiting for you to finish surgery,” Jason informs her. “And suggested we might substitute tomorrow’s fish and chips for tonight’s shepherd’s pie, and vice versa, and I agreed that it was an acceptable change as I wished for you to come to dinner tonight because I also missed you when you were away.”

Bernie swallows hard and blinks rapidly, doing her best to hold off the tears that have sprung into her eyes. “That was very generous of you, Jason. I appreciate your kindness.” She begins collecting her things together, then pulls on her coat, and follows the pair of them out of the office and across to the lift.

“How did it go?” asks Serena as they make their way out into the car park a few minutes later. 

“He’ll live. And he’ll keep his arm,” Bernie adds. “He’s going to need a lot of physical therapy to be able to recover the full use of his arm and he’ll have to be careful going through airport metal detectors, but–” She makes a vague gesture, realising she’s too tired for more words.

She puts her bags in the boot, then climbs into the backseat of Serena’s car, since Jason much prefers the front passenger seat and she has no intention of further disrupting him. 

Serena pulls out of the car park and Bernie immediately falls asleep, her trip back from Kiev and her long day catching up with her as soon as she doesn’t have to concentrate any more.

She misses the whispered conversation between aunt and nephew about whether or not they should wake her to find out what she wants from the fish and chip shop, with Serena insisting they leave Bernie to sleep, as well as the ten minute pause at the fish and chip shop while Jason goes in to collect their order, and only wakes when Serena shakes her awake once they arrive at her home.

“Oh god, sorry,” Bernie mumbles, rubbing a hand over her face. “I honestly didn’t think I’d just pass out like that.” She snorts. “I’m getting soft.”

“Nonsense, Major,” Serena says, stepping back to allow her to climb out of the car. “You’ve had a long and busy day that started with a four and a half hour flight and ended with a two hour long, very complicated surgery.” 

She opens the boot and Bernie gets out her wheelie suitcase and kitbag, then waits as Serena locks the car, before following her inside. She leaves her bag and case where Serena directs, then sheds her coat and shoes, before padding sock-clad down the hall and into the dining room where Jason’s already got the table laid.

“You must be very tired,” he says, looking at her critically.

“I am,” Bernie agrees. “I’m sorry I fell asleep in the car.”

He shakes his head. “You should make sure you go to bed early, though, so you can get plenty of sleep.”

Bernie smiles. “I promise that I will.”

“Good.” He points at a chair. “You should sit down as you’re our guest and I will help Auntie Serena bring everything in. We got you a portion of cod and chips because you were asleep.”

Bernie gives him a reassuring smile as she sits in the indicated chair. “Thank you, Jason. Cod and chips sounds brilliant, actually.”

“Good.” 

He goes out and Bernie scrubs a hand over her face again, trying to wake herself back up. She feels guilty about falling asleep in the car, even though she knows Serena’s right about the long day she’s had. She suspects, however, that it’s as much the emotional toll as the physical that’s left her feeling wrung out. 

Serena sticks her head around the door. “What do you want to drink?”

“I think I’d better stick to water,” Bernie says, “or I’ll be asleep again before I’ve finished eating.”

The brunette chuckles, then disappears back into the kitchen as Jason walks out carrying a glass of what she suspects is apple juice and an empty wine glass, then he disappears again, just as Serena comes through carrying an opened bottle of Shiraz and a tall glass of water with ice cubes in it and a slice of lemon perched on the rim.

Bernie chuckles at the sight of it. “Classy. Very classy,” she teases.

“Oh, shush you,” Serena says, swiping ineffectually at her shoulder, a fond expression in her eyes.

A few minutes later they’re all settled around the table and tucking into their food. Conversation is kept to a minimum as they eat, for which Bernie’s grateful because it means she doesn’t have to split her concentration. 

“Would you like some ice cream for dessert, Doctor Bernie?” Jason asks once they’ve finished eating.

She smiles at Jason. “I’d love some, thanks.”

“Good. I like ice cream, too. What’s your favourite flavour?”

Bernie shrugs. “I don’t think I’ve got one. I didn’t eat much ice cream when I was on tour.”

Jason frowns at her, pushing his glasses up his face by the bar over his nose. “I would think that ice cream is the perfect thing to eat in a hot desert.”

She chuckles. “It is. Unfortunately, though, it wasn’t really available where I was. You could buy it in the towns and cities, but not out in the actual desert where I was stationed.”

“That’s interesting. What was Kiev like?”

Bernie blinks, slightly surprised by the sudden change of topic. “Cold. Much colder than it is here. But it’s an important educational, scientific, industrial, and cultural centre of Eastern Europe. And it’s home to many higher education institutions, high-tech industries, and historical landmarks. I wasn’t able to see much of the cultural side of the city while I was there as I was too busy setting up the trauma centre, but the bits of the city I saw were beautiful, even in winter. There are lots of trees everywhere, particularly horse chestnuts, which are the city’s symbol, and one of the nurses told me that it’s possible to walk from one end of the city to the other in summer without leaving the shade of the trees. There are also some very popular parks and lakes, and when the lakes and rivers were frozen children ice skated on them.”

“Did you?” Jason ask eagerly, then looks up and thanks Serena for the bowl of ice cream she’s just set in front of him.

“Thank you, Serena,” Bernie says when a bowl is placed in front of her. “I didn’t ice skate, no.”

“Don’t you know how?”

“I do, Jason, but as I said, I was very busy. Building an entire trauma centre from the ground up is a lot of hard work.”

“Is that why you didn’t answer Auntie Serena’s emails and texts? Were you too busy?”

“Jason!” Serena’s expression is as shocked as her tone of voice, but Bernie has always liked the young man’s bluntness. It suits her.

“It’s fine, Serena,” she tells the brunette. “Jason, it’s true that I was very busy, but I could have made time to stay in contact with your Auntie.” He opens his mouth, but she holds up a hand. “I didn’t because I was scared.”

“What were you scared of? You know Auntie Serena likes you. And you like her.”

“That can be a bit scary for some people,” Bernie says gently. “I don’t think you’d ever be scared because you’re not like me. You’re very honest about your feelings and you look at the world in a very straightforward manner. I often find it hard to be honest about my feelings.”

“Why?”

“Jason, this isn’t an interrogation,” Serena says.

“It’s fine, Serena.” She spoons up the last of her ice cream, then sets the spoon in the empty bowl. “You know that I’m a lesbian, a woman who loves other women?”

He nods. “But you were married to a man.”

“I was. You have to understand that things have changed a lot in the last fifty years – society’s attitudes to people who aren’t heterosexual have mostly got better. But when I was growing up, a lot of people like me felt safer not admitting that they were gay or lesbian or bisexual because other people saw us as perverts or considered us dangerous. I realised that I was a lesbian when I was in my teens, but I couldn’t admit that to myself, let alone tell anyone else, so I buried my feelings and pretended that I liked men. So for more than thirty years, I couldn’t be honest about how I felt because it wasn’t safe. It especially wasn’t safe when I signed up to the Royal Medical Army Corps because the army didn’t allow people who weren’t heterosexual to serve in its ranks. If they’d known I was a lesbian before I signed up then I wouldn’t have been allowed to join, and if they’d found out after I signed up but before the ban on LGTBQ people was lifted, I’d have been forced to leave.”

“That’s very silly,” Jason declares. “The army would have lost a very good surgeon if they’d made you leave.”

Bernie smiles a little tremulously. “Thank you, Jason.”

“Do you–”

Serena holds up a hand. “No more personal questions tonight, Jason,” she says firmly. “Bernie’s had a long, tiring day, so please save the rest of your questions for another time.”

Bernie has to put a hand over her mouth to prevent a yawn from escaping and Serena gets to her feet. 

“Let’s get the table cleared, then you can watch your programmes.”

“Are you staying tonight, Doctor Bernie?” 

Bernie looks from Jason to Serena. “I don’t know, Jason. Your aunt and I haven’t discussed that yet.”

“I think you should,” he says. “It would make Auntie Serena happy.”

“And what about what makes Bernie happy?” asks Serena.

“It would make me very happy, too,” Bernie says quickly. “If you’d like me to stay.”

“I would,” Serena says with a soft smile.

Bernie opens her mouth to thank her and has to hide another yawn. “Sorry,” she mumbles.

“You should go to bed, Doctor Bernie.”

“I think you’re right, Jason,” Bernie agrees. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight Doctor Bernie.” He turns to Serena. “I don’t mind watching my programmes on my own tonight, Auntie Serena.”

Bernie has to hide a smile at this declaration. It’s evident to her from this that Jason was at least equally as responsible for the matchmaking that took place earlier when he and Fletch locked her and Serena in their office, as Fletch was. 

“Thank you, Jason,” Serena says, her eyes glinting. 

Bernie gets to her feet and helps her to clear the table, then load up the dishwasher.

“Do you want to sleep in the guest room or my room?”

Bernie swallows hard at the question. “Would – would your room be okay?”

“Yes, it would,” Serena agrees immediately. 

“Okay.”

A few minutes later Bernie gathers what she needs from her kitbag, then follows Serena upstairs and into the master bedroom. The room is tastefully elegant, but far more lushly appointed than Bernie’s own bedroom, or indeed any bedroom she’s ever slept in.

Serena directs her to the ensuite where she takes a brisk shower, then cleans her teeth and gets herself ready for bed. She feels as if she’s physically drooping by the time she moves back into the bedroom and she can feel her back muscles tightening angrily. 

“Back acting up?” Serena asks, somehow knowing without Bernie telling her.

“A bit,” Bernie agrees, then winces. “A lot, actually.”

Serena nods. “I’ll be five minutes or so in the bathroom, and then I can give you a proper massage, if you’d like?”

“I’d love one, thank you.” 

“Get comfy, then, soldier.”

Bernie smirks and offers her a sloppy salute. “Aye, aye, Fräulein.”

Serena swats at her arm. “Shush, you.” 

Bernie settles on the bed, manoeuvring carefully to lie face down, and tries not to fall asleep just yet.

Fortunately, Serena reappears before she does, and Bernie has to swallow a moan when she sees the silky nightgown that the other woman is wearing. She feels more than a little shabby in her faded RAMC t-shirt and grey boxer shorts, a feeling that’s intensified by the elegance of Serena’s bedroom.

Serena crosses to the bed, frowning a little. “What’s wrong? Is it your back?”

“No,” Bernie croaks out. “Just–” She has to swallow hard before she can speak. “Just thinking that compared to this room and you, I’m a bit shabby.”

“Nonsense,” Serena says immediately. She climbs onto the bed, flashing her thigh, which makes Bernie swallow for entirely different reasons. “So long as you’re comfortable, I don’t care what you’re wearing.” She opens the top drawer in her nightstand and pulls out a bottle of what Bernie assumes is aromatherapy oil. “Not allergic to this stuff, are you?”

Bernie lifts her head to squint at it, then shakes her head. “Not as far as I know.”

“Good. I’m going to push your t-shirt up out of the way if that’s okay?”

“Do you want me to take it off?”

“Probably best not to,” Serena says. “I suspect you’ll be asleep pretty quickly once I’m done and it’ll be easier for me just to pull the fabric down at the back in that case.”

“’kay.”

Bernie almost moans when Serena sets to work on easing her muscles, but she bites her bottom lip instead.

“I’m surprised the shower didn’t help,” the brunette observes as her hands migrate from Bernie’s shoulder blades to the middle of her back.

“It did, a bit,” Bernie tells her.

“You’d probably have been better off having a long, hot soak in the bathtub,” Serena observes.

Bernie frowns. “There isn’t a bathtub in your ensuite.”

That elicits a chuckle. “No, it’s in the main bathroom.”

“Oh.” Bernie’s sliding towards sleep as she takes this in. She exhales deeply as Serena’s hands move to her lower back. “I do love you, Serena Campbell,” she sighs blissfully.

She’s asleep before Serena can react to her words.


End file.
